I'm a handyman.

Really.

I can pour concrete, wire lights (and hot tubs!), build forts, decks, and even do plumbing.

Sort of.

Two years ago, I moved our laundry room from the basement to the back porch. Not exactly a small project, as it involved removing 2 closets and lots of lathe-backed plaster, but I was able to handle it. New walls, tile floor, even a new ceiling.

The biggest problem was the plumbing - our house was built in the 1920s, so old steel pipe was the norm. Not exactly easy to tap into, and the water pressure, to put it nicely, sucked.

So, I convinced Steph to let me re-plumb the ENTIRE HOUSE.

Seriously!

We have 1 full bath (which already had new copper plumbing), 1 half-bath (again, new copper plumbing), the kitchen, 2 outdoor spigots, a utility tub in the basement, the hot water heat (copper plumbing), and the new 1st floor laundry room - all said, only 8 or so branches.

So I spent a day pulling out old nasty steel pipe, and put in the new lines. Worked like a charm, and believe it or not, not a single leak.

Until a few days ago.

The new laundry room is in our back porch - which must have been added on at some point, as it has a crawl space, rather than the full basement. The local feral cat population took it upon themselves to pull out some of the old bricks (that were never properly mortared in) and stay warm in there. No biggie to me, they kept the mice away.

Unfortunately, this also created a nice cross-draft in the crawlspace. The lovely northeast Ohio weather took a nose dive, and bam - frozen pipes.

So now, I go down there with the torch to thaw the pipes. When it finally melts - you guessed it - quite the icy shower.

Fortunately, I was smart enough to put shutoffs in just in case.
Unfortunately, I had the laundry room and the kitchen behind the same shutoff.

So, no water in the kitchen either. Hmm...this really can't wait.

I gather up my tools, and head down into the cold, wet, muddy area to cut out the burst and solder in a new section. Fairly straight forward, all said. I cut out the old one, solder in the new one.

Steam from the leftover water is just blowing out one of the new joints.

GRRRR....ok, wasted joint. No biggie, cut that back out.

Steph, could you go upstairs and turn on the faucet in the laundry room, put the hose on, and blow so any leftover water will trickle out?

(Anyone seeing what's coming next?)

<Her voice from the room right over top of me> You ready?

<me, thinking to myself> Ready? Yeah...let's get this done so I can get out of this oversized coffin!

<yelling to Steph> Go ahead!

Of course, anyone EXCEPT me would have realized that there was probably a decent amount of water left in the pipe, since it was FULL when it broke.

Icy cold water sprays out out of the pipe I just cut off, which just so happens to be pointing directly at my chest.

My yell of surprise and shock results in the slightly muffled sounds of my helpful and caring wife laughing at me upstairs. Through the chuckles, I hear "You OK?"

Fine. Let's just get this done.

Solder the new joint, this time leaving one side open so any steam can escape without blowing the joint. Smooth as silk.

Ok, now just to fit the other side into the last joint....

(Anyone see lesson #2 yet?)

Apparently, when you heat a copper pipe with a MAP gas torch to get it hot enough to melt solder, it's hot enough to burn your hand.

Wet, and the smell of singed flesh wafting around my head, I reach for the squirt bottle to cool it off enough to finish this #@#% job.

Joint #2 - perfect.

Ok, turn on the water....why is there water running down the wall? I don't see a break....

Steph, did you leave the hose attached to the faucet?

Turn off the water...go upstairs, dry the floor....turn OFF the faucet...

Turn on the water. No leaks. Perfect.

Now, install the electric pipe heaters (that heating wire that protects to -40 degrees) and the insulation I bought A YEAR AGO.

What did we learn?

Plumbers definitely do NOT get paid enough.

Next project - re-jacking up the corner where it has sank over the last few decades.  I'll be sure to take lots of pictures and video. I'm sure the America's Funniest Home Video prize money can help offset the hospitalization bill that's sure to come!

Hope your week was less exciting than mine! LOL

Shan